Why 'to do' lists don't work... as well as 'done' lists

I’m a very sad person. I love ticking things off my ‘to do’ list. I love it so much that I actually add things to my list after I’ve done them just so I can tick them off.

It turns out that I’m not alone in this self reward behaviour. There’s something in the satisfaction of ticking things off (or, in my case, putting a wavy line through) that makes us feel in control of our workloads and good about our achievements.

Whether we use pen and paper, Microsoft Outlook, our iPhone or something like Todoist, everyone loves a good ‘to do’ list.

However, what happens on those days/weeks when we’re so busy we not only DON’T tick things off our lists, we keep adding to them? What do we when we feel completely overwhelmed by the ever-growing lists of tasks, chores and responsibilities?

Answer – write a ‘done’ list! 

Seriously.

It might sound like a waste of time, but ‘done’ lists give us an enormous sense of achievement. And that sense of achievement is what drives us on to (eventually) work through our responsibilities.

I discovered the benefits of the ‘done’ list when I was going through a particularly busy period in my life. I found the sheer amount of work overwhelming and the dissatisfaction of never completing my ‘to do’ lists utterly frustrating. Worse still, I was losing sleep, getting depressed and becoming more and more inefficient.

So one night I decided to write down all the things I had done that day – rather than focus on all the things that I hadn’t. It was enlightening. Yes, I hadn’t written my blog post but I had written damned good sales letters for BMW, MINI and Mazda. I hadn’t called everyone I was supposed to have called, but the people I did call were the ones who would have the greatest impact on the projects I was working on. 

The result was a feeling of great satisfaction, a more positive attitude to the next day’s jobs – and a decent night’s sleep, to boot.

If, like me, you judge your productivity by how many items you’ve ticked off your ‘to do’ list, it goes without saying that you feel a bit of a failure when it just keeps growing. So don’t abandon them altogether, just take a few moments (and it does only take a few moments) to scribble down everything you’ve achieved that day, or better still, that week. You’ll be amazed at just how productive you are. 

Yes, that’s definitely what he said… at least I think that’s what he said.

So you’re in an important meeting and you’re doing all your rapport-building stuff, maintaining good eye contact, listening actively and waiting for the opportune moment to offer up your point of view. Two hours later, ‘who said what to whom’ starts to become a vague recollection and by the end of the week you’re post-rationalising the whole thing in your favour.  

The trouble with good old verbal communication is while it’s great for building relationships it’s pretty hopeless for remembering detail.

Some years ago, I read (or heard) something that made a big impression on me. “We often forget what someone looked like, we sometimes forget what they said, but we never forget how they made us feel.” Isn’t that so true? Think back to when you met someone for the first time. Any idea what they were wearing? Or what you talked about? But I bet you remember if you liked them or not.

We humans are still animals and we’re conditioned to behave in a certain way with other human animals. Our natural instinct is to want to mate, fight or play (think dogs) and remembering ‘detail’ sort of gets in the way of all that. So when we go into the doctor’s surgery determined to find out exactly why we’re not sleeping/eating/concentrating/getting rid of waste as well as we once did, we listen, nod, smile and leave, remembering only our version of events. Too polite, too busy or too embarrassed to write down the doctor’s actual diagnosis, we remember certain bits only, usually the ones we’re already familiar with.

We’d be far better off dispensing with some of the niceties and doing some proper two-way communication. That means being prepared to admit that we’re not quite so knowledgeable on certain subjects and saying, “sorry, would you mind explaining that again.” It also means losing eye contact briefly while you jot down a few notes. Nobody is going to think you terribly rude if you say, “sorry, I’d just like to write this down so I have a clear understanding of what you’re saying.” In fact, they’re probably going to feel flattered that you’re taking what they’re saying so seriously.

So the next time you’re having an important conversation, stop trying to be so nice and concentrate on its purpose. Words spoken are words lost if no-one ever remembers them.

If your dog does a poo, please put it in a bin.

Have you ever wondered why we often meet people we recognise but can’t figure out who they are? Sometimes it’s even people we know pretty well, but we still can’t remember how we know them. I call it the ‘out of context syndrome’.

We tend to associate people we know with certain situations so when we see our doctor in the supermarket, or our postman in the pub, we say hello but we can’t always place the face and it bugs us all day until we eventually remember.

Context plays an enormous role in communications, and woe betide the communicator who gets it wrong.

Take my headline. We know it doesn’t mean put the dog in the bin, but it’s a great example of context. We know we’re meant to pick up dog mess so we instantly understand the message. We also know that “Caution Animals Drive Slow” doesn’t mean that animals are slow drivers, but it still makes me smile every time I see signs like this.

The Oxford English Dictionary describes context as “the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement or idea; the parts that immediately precede and follow a word or passage and clarify its meaning.”

The much used, but rarely recognised, ‘dangling modifier’ can provide a highly amusing lack of clarity. Dangling modifiers (often referred to as hanging or dangling participles) are sentences where the second part of the sentence doesn’t refer to the subject in the first part. Humorous examples include:

• Fresh from the oven and smothered in butter, my husband loved my homemade bread.
• On entering the surgery, the skeleton immediately caught my eye.
• If found guilty, the FA could fine the players and the club.

Fortunately, our common sense tells us what poor writing doesn’t!

Unfortunately, out of context doesn’t always make you smile.

I once attended an automotive awards dinner where the guest speaker (a popular national TV news reader) told several jokes about second-hand car salesmen and sheepskin coats. Not only did nobody laugh, but with each new ill-advised quip, we grew more and more irritated. Humour relies on context big time.

So the next time you’re editing a piece of writing, just imagine your intended audience hearing or reading your words from their point of view. Do those words that you so clearly understood/enjoyed really make sense/entertain out of context?

 

10 ways to beat writer's block

Even the best of writers experience writer’s block from time to time when they cannot think of anything to write – or they ditch what they have written believing it to be ‘rubbish’. So here are ten ways that could help you beat the dreaded ailment.

1. Find the root of the problem – lack of information, bored with the subject, no new ideas and lost confidence through over criticism are just some of the common causes – you need to establish yours before you can start to tackle it

2. Stop trying to write the piece that’s troubling you and write something else – even if it’s only an email to a friend moaning about not being able to write!

3. Keep a writing diary and learn from it – note what happened in the lead up to the good days, when the words seem to tumble out by themselves, and the bad days, when everything was a struggle
4. Imagine you’re talking to a friend or relative and tell them (out loud if you’re alone or don’t mind being seen talking to yourself in public) what the piece is about – use your own natural spoken words – do not try to ‘sound good’

5. Force yourself to write something (anything) every day – it’s the habit of writing, not the quality, that’s important – the quality will come afterwards in the editing process

6. Recognise the difference between drafting and editing – the first draft is not supposed to be good – think of it as the brain dump only

7. Come at the story/brochure/email/web page/briefing document from a different angle – stop trying to write it from the client’s/organisation’s/hero’s point of view and write it from the customer/employee/villain’s point of view

8. Ask lots and lots of questions – don’t settle for the answers to ‘who, what, where and when’ – the most interesting stuff comes from asking ‘why’ and ‘how’ – for most business communications you need to know “why would my readers be interested in this?”

9. Use fairy tales or read ‘The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories’ by Christopher Booker to see if what you’re writing about can be adapted to incorporate the theme or storyline of one of the classic plots

10. Give yourself a break – it is the clichéd answer but that’s because it works – trying too hard or beating yourself up inhibits creativity so give yourself permission not to write – do something different, ideally something mind-numbingly dull, and let the subconscious take over – only be careful not to let this become a habit or you’ll then be dealing with procrastination instead!

Stand up for what you believe in

I’d like to think that I’m relatively open-minded and willing to embrace change in business (you can feel a ‘but’ coming on, can’t you?) but there is one old rule I refuse to bend on – I insist on standing up when presenting. Sitting down might feel more comfortable but effective presenting isn’t about feeling comfortable; it’s about persuading a group of people to agree with you. And if you’re not prepared to stand up for what you believe, why should anyone else?

First off, let me say there are times when sitting down round a table is not just a good thing it’s the only thing to do. Sitting down with a group of people, discussing, listening, negotiating is absolutely right and proper when an open and honest discussion is called for and when everyone’s opinion is valid. Sitting down together both figuratively and metaphorically is a vital part of communications. It shows (or rather it should) that final decisions have not yet been made and that everyone has the opportunity to have their views heard.

However, presenting is a different kettle of fish altogether.

Presenting is your chance to achieve an objective, impart an important message and bring your audience ‘on board’. And whether that’s a new business pitch, a launch to the media or reporting back to clients or colleagues on the success of a campaign, standing up gives your presentation the gravitas you simply cannot achieve sitting down.

A number of things happen when we stand up. Unless your audience are all standing too, standing up immediately makes you taller than everyone else so you stand out and get noticed. You command attention. If you are addressing an audience who are already standing, raise yourself up on a stage, a platform or even a table or a chair if you have to. It does make a difference.

Secondly, your posture changes. Most people tend to slump a little (or a lot) when they sit. While it is possible to stand with your head bowed and your shoulders forward, standing generally pulls your shoulders back, your tummy in and chest out. Whether we’re a body language expert or not most of us recognise the standing posture as being one of awareness, assertiveness and a readiness to act. Sitting down is simply too relaxed.

Thirdly, standing improves your breathing and therefore your voice. Your chest expands when standing, allowing you to take in more air, which helps make your voice deeper and louder. Deeper, louder voices sound more confident that higher softer ones so you command even more attention.

Also, standing makes you more self-aware. That slight (or, in some cases, extreme!) nervousness we feel when we stand up to talk is exactly what we need at that time. That extra adrenaline rush gives you the energy you need to deal with being out of your comfort zone. So don’t see nerves as a bad thing. It is those nerves that keep you focussed on what you’re doing. If speakers are too relaxed they can find themselves saying something they wished they hadn’t!

So the next time you’re in a meeting and you want to make an important point, stand up. Take control. You won’t just look and sound more convincing you’ll be giving out a very clear message: “I believe in what I’m saying. You should too.”

7 phrases that make you look like an amateur

 

The internet has turned us all into publishers. Sadly, it has also made too many of us think we're copywriters. Just because you CAN put your own content up on the web doesn't mean you should!

Ideally, unless you are a gifted communicator, get your content produced by a professional who knows how to promote your product and services without sounding as if they're writing a primary school essay.

However, if you must do your own, here are seven phrases you should NEVER use.

1. “We are committed to excellence.” As opposed to what? Mediocrity? Don’t make claims that anyone can say - or that you can’t substantiate. 


2. “Perfect for adults and children alike.” Why alike? If you’re goods are perfect for different audiences, just say who those audiences are. “Alike” adds nothing. As do “basically”, “very”, “rather” and “lots”.


3. “At your earliest convenience.” Makes you sound as if you’re still living in Dickensian times. “As soon as you can” is friendlier. Better still, give the date you need something by.


4. “Non-gravitational erasable writing implement.” Don’t try to sound smart. It’s not big and it’s not clever. If you sell pencils, call them pencils. Also second-hand cars are not “previously-enjoyed vehicles”, redundancy is not “skill mix adjustment” and failure is not “deferred success”


5. “But don’t take our word for it.” Then why say it? Not only is this contradictory, it’s also well overused. Clichés become clichés because they WERE good phrases – when they were original. Now, they just make you sound insincere.


6. “Revolutionary new service.”  Really? Your new service is going to start a revolution? Your customers are not as gullible as you think. Stay clear of words like “exciting”, “dynamic”, “ground-breaking” and “innovative”. Everyone claims them. Few deliver.


7. “Do not hesitate to contact us.” Negative, patronising and so old school. Get with the 21^st century and say “call us any time” or “drop us a line”.

Who are these writers prepared to work for 1p per word?

One of my colleagues has become a fan of Copify, the ‘word mill’ that charges clients £14 per article and pays the writer £3, if he/she’s lucky.

He uses Copify to produce (mediocre) blog posts and copy for company websites. He’s a lovely guy but I wish he’d stop.

As a professional writer, I’ve been bleating on about “turkeys voting for Christmas” ever since I came across these ridiculously low paid writing services a couple of years ago. Why would any professional writer work for 1p per word? It’s not as if you even get a by-line. You’d be better off stacking shelves at Asda. At least you get your name on a badge.

Looking at some of the Copify writers’ profiles (beauticians, engineers, poets and service desk managers – whatever that is) I can see that ‘being a writer’ is high on their agenda and the chance of being paid to write (albeit for a measly 1p per word) probably makes them feel good about themselves. But it won’t help them become worthy professional writers. Unless they see it as an almost-free training course with virtually no feedback from their ‘tutor’.

When I started out 30 years ago, I wrote for free, I wrote for pennies but I always wrote with the big picture in mind. The free stuff carried my by-line, the low-paid stuff got my foot in the door (and free meals when I wrote ‘wine and dine’ features) and everything went into my expanding portfolio that led me onto bigger and, yes you’ve guessed it, better paid things.

There are numerous blog and social media posts from professionals who feel as I do, most of whom putting their points across far more succinctly and memorably than me – so I won’t say much more. (I’m being paid zilch to write this.)

Only I really do want to know, who are these writers? If you are one, were one or are thinking of being one, I’d love to hear from you. Then I’ll tell you all about the turkeys…

 

(Image courtesy of Mystic Arts.)